Let’s talk about money — and not the way you think.
We all have money stories. They shape our relationship with money, in good ways and bad. Maybe you grew up being told to save every penny. Maybe money felt scarce, or maybe it was something no one ever talked about.
But what happens when those early beliefs — the ones that taught you to be careful, never waste, always save — start holding you back from truly living?
That’s what I wanted to explore in this week’s episode of XO Conversations, where I sat down with Cammie Doder and Sandi Bragar, co-hosts of Money Tales and partners at the wealth management firm Aspiriant.
Together, we unpacked how our childhood money stories shape our adult lives — not just our bank accounts, but our relationships, our identity, and even our sense of self-worth.
How Your Relationship With Money Begins
Cammie grew up hearing the immigrant story — work hard, save everything, be frugal. Her grandparents built their lives from nothing, and those lessons became her foundation.
But over time, she realized that the very beliefs that once protected her were keeping her from enjoying what she’d earned.
“I was extremely frugal — but it was holding me back,” she shared. “I had to work hard to embrace the good parts of my money story while rewriting the parts that no longer served me.”
Sandi’s story began differently. As a child, she watched her parents struggle through financial stress. Money wasn’t just scarce — it was something to fight about.
“I remember thinking, there has to be a better way,” she said. “And I decided early on that I wanted to be independent, to understand money for myself.”
Two different beginnings. The same core realization:
Our money stories aren’t facts — they’re inherited narratives we can choose to rewrite.
The Emotional Side of Money (That No One Talks About)
As Sandi explained, there are two sides to money — the technical and the emotional.
The technical side is the budgeting, saving, investing.
The emotional side is everything else — the fear, guilt, avoidance, and pressure we carry with every financial decision.
And here’s the thing: most of us are never taught to talk about that side.
That’s why so many people — especially women — feel uncomfortable even asking questions about money. We’re expected to know, and we’re embarrassed if we don’t.
But when we start having those conversations, everything shifts.
“If someone can’t explain a concept clearly,” Cammie said, “they probably don’t understand it as well as they think. You’re allowed to ask. You’re allowed to learn.”
What’s “Enough”?
One of my favorite moments from our conversation was when Cammie asked:
“What is enough? What is money for?”
It’s such a simple question — and yet, most of us never ask it.
We keep chasing more: more success, more comfort, more security. But when we never stop to define what enough means, we can’t recognize when we’ve already reached it.
This is where emotional wealth comes in.
Money doesn’t create peace — alignment does.
When your spending, saving, and giving reflect your values rather than your fears, you start to experience a kind of wealth that feels grounded, not grasping.
Rewriting Your Relationship with Money
If you’ve ever wanted to change how you feel about money — here’s where to start:
- Get curious, not judgmental. Notice your thoughts about money. Do you feel guilty spending? Fearful saving? Defensive when talking about it? Awareness is the first step to change.
- Name your values. Ask yourself what truly matters to you right now — not ten years ago. Your financial choices should reflect who you are today.
- Have the hard conversations. Talk about money with your partner, your kids, your friends. Normalize it. When we speak our stories, they lose their shame.
- Redefine success. Instead of asking “How much do I have?” try asking “How aligned do I feel?”
Mistakes, Regrets, and Growth
We ended our talk with something that resonated deeply:
“Mistakes are how we learn,” Cammie said. “The fear of making a financial mistake often stops people from taking any step at all. But that’s how we grow.”
Sandi added,
“The people who live the most satisfying lives are the ones making money decisions aligned with their purpose today — not the person they used to be.”
Money isn’t just about numbers.
It’s about meaning, and how we use what we have to create a life that feels whole, generous, and authentic.
Check Out Sandi and Cammie’s Money Tales Podcast
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