Behind Closed Doors: A Journey Through Intimacy Struggles

I'm Rishma!

Naturopathic Doctor & PhD turned scientific creative, travel adventurer, joy seeker, book lover, mom of two amazing humans, wife to her best friend. 

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Intimacy: The Missing Piece in a Picture-Perfect Marriage

Misha and her husband had a marriage that seemed perfect from the outside. They were close friends and partners who had been together for years. However, there was one issue that they had been struggling with for a long time – intimacy. Every time they tried to be more intimate, Misha would experience pain, which made it difficult for them to be physically close.

Misha felt embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. They both struggled to communicate about it, and despite their efforts to find help, they didn’t get the answers they needed. They tried to ignore the problem, pretending it was okay, but eventually, things fell apart.

Misha’s story is not uncommon. Many people struggle with intimacy, but it’s not something that’s talked about openly. For Misha, it was a taboo subject, and she never felt comfortable discussing it with friends or family.

As a naturopathic doctor with over 20 years of clinical experience, Dr. Rishma Walji understands how important it is to have these conversations. She believes that it’s essential to break the taboo around intimacy and increase awareness – not just physical awareness (understanding your body) but also system awareness (how to get the resources you need). By sharing Misha’s story, Dr. Rishma hopes to encourage others to speak up and seek the help they need.

Themes Of This Episode

Lack of Intimacy in Relationships

Many couples struggle with being intimate, but often don’t know how to communicate about it or get the help they need to fix the issue. In this episode, Misha shares her own struggles with being intimate, having pain and not being able to find the support she needed.

Shame and Embarrassment

There are some things in life that feel so private, emotional, or shameful that we don’t know what to do. Misha talks about how she felt ashamed to share her struggles with her family or seek outside help because of the stigma attached to infertility. She was afraid of being judged or laughed at, and this prevented her from seeking the support she needed. Overcoming shame and stigma is important for people to seek help when they need it and can lead to better mental health and relationships. We talk about the pressure we put on ourselves to figure out our problems alone and how to overcome the shame and embarrassment that often prevents us from seeking help.

Importance of Communication

The lack of communication in relationships can lead to resentment and the breakdown of the relationship. It’s often difficult to share personal details with others, even your closest family and friends. In fact, many people don’t even talk to their partners. Misha mentions that people may be willing to listen and support us, but we do not know how to communicate or express our feelings. Communication is key in building strong relationships, and learning how to communicate effectively can help couples navigate through difficult times.

Taboo around Intimacy

There is often a taboo around the topic of intimacy, but it is a fundamental part of relationships. There are often cultural and societal barriers to discussing intimacy openly, which was the case for Misha coming from a South Asian background.

Importance of Professional Help

In some cases, seeking professional help is the best way to address issues in relationships. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right support, the right therapist or even the right information when you’re dealing with issues around sexual health.

Self-Exploration and Education

Misha emphasizes the importance of self-exploration and education, especially regarding women’s health and sexuality. She mentions that topics like masturbation and tampons are often taboo and not discussed openly, which can hinder women’s knowledge and understanding of their bodies. Learning about oneself can lead to better self-esteem and relationships, and breaking down societal taboos can help in achieving this.

Importance of Support Systems

Misha didn’t realize that she had a support system to talk to. She discusses the importance of having your trustworthy people who can listen and provide guidance in times of need. She mentions that it could be family, friends, or even therapists, and encourages people to seek help when they need it. Having a support system can make a significant difference in a person’s life, especially during difficult times like infertility or relationship struggles.

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Travel adventurer, joy seeker, book lover

Hi, I'm Rishma.
Your BFF + New
Life Strategist.

I ran a thriving healthcare practice as a Naturopathic Doctor and Acupuncturist for over 20 years. I also earned my PhD and spent time in academic research and teaching positions. Now, I read scientific studies because I'm passionate about personal growth. I use the insights to help me, and our community, live our own XO life.

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